Monday, 16 October 2017

Does positivity help us?

Positivity
We often hear that we should 'think positive' or 'be positive.' It is one of the most basic and well known self- help mantras. Almost everybody is familiar with this idea. But what does it mean and why exactly should we think and be positive?

There are disadvantages to being optimistic, or so it seems. One of them is that we may be disappointed. There's a chance that our hopes will not be realised, or not realised in the way we say that we would like. Yet we are told to be positive. Being positive keeps our 'spirit' up and can motivate us. We certainly may feel more motivated when we we look at things positively. However, expectations can also lead to difficulties and there is no proof that being positive reliably gets us better results.

There is also the popular idea that we attract what we are thinking and what we expect. You hear about the so-called 'law of Attraction' where we attract whatever we focus on. Unfortunately there is no proof that this works reliably either and it doesn't take a lot of analysis to see that the 'Law of Attraction' is a made up concept rather than a fact. For example, how many times have you expected something bad to happen and it didn't. Personally I have done this many times. I expected some dreadful result or diagnosis from a Doctor and it turned out to be not so bad, even though my head had been filled with visions of doom.

Having said this, it does seem that being positive is more likely to make us feel happy and take direct action. It may also enhance greatly our experiences if we consciously feel positive about them. The problem comes when we are superficially positive, when we are positive to cover up what we really feel at a deeper level. Then being positive becomes a travesty, a dishonest charade. It is what a lot of people are doing a lot of the time. We can even say that society requires it. People don't want to know about your darkest fears, your squirming self-doubts, your negative or taboo feelings. So naturally these feelings are pushed underground and there are plenty of people walking around smiling that have the fires of hell burning within them.

And then there are people that wear their negativity on the surface and create a bad environment around themselves. These are also people to keep away from. Nobody wants to be around a miserable complainer all the time. Yet being miserable is easier than being positive. It doesn't appear to require any effort, whereas being positive does. Being positive means rising above the limitations of our existence. It means being comfortable with the difference between what we can imagine, and what is. It means accepting that conditions are not always favourable, and living with that reality. Being positive means you have faith in humanity and in the whole game of existence, despite what we see around us. It means we are ready to take responsibility for our lives and make the best of things. It means you do whatever you know to be right, even when everyone else is doing differently.

Ultimately of course, authenticity is required and there's a wide range of states in which to 'be'. But beware that authenticity doesn't just become an excuse to let positivity drop and dump negative feelings wherever convenient. Positivity is an affirmative state, and as such may require a conscious choice and effort.


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