Tuesday, 16 June 2020
Monday, 4 May 2020
Tuesday, 17 March 2020
Monday, 23 September 2019
New Paradigm Will Be a Game Changer
Psychology and psychotherapy are subjects which still appear to divide people. If you surveyed a cross-section of the population about their thoughts on these you would get diverse opinions about their effectiveness, some of which would probably be quite dismissive.
One of the reasons for this could be that there is vagueness and conflicting views about how it all works. Most people have heard of Sigmund Freud of course, and many have a rough idea of his theories. But how many people can say for sure that they work or can be used to reliably treat mental illness?
Since Freud there have been a huge number of new practices and methods to treat mental illness, but none have apparently won through as being irrefutably effective or 'True', and the 'science' and practice of psychology could still be in its relative infancy.
From New Age therapies which often recycle and repackage ancient teachings for the contemporary world, to semi-scientific methods such as NLP or CBT, to psychiarty or complex approaches such as Transactional Analysis, there are a bewildering array of treatments, almost all of which claim to be the best or sometimes the ONLY path to a true sense of peace and well-being!
But surely not ALL of them can be the most effective? So, how can we tell which ones work and which don't? Should we go mainstream or left-field to enhance our mental and emotional wellness? Meditation or psychoanalysis? Life coaching or Prozac?
According to author and coach Jamie Smart, a new principle is emerging that will unify and clarify our approach to treating mental problems, and if the implications are played out in the way he suggests, far more than just these challenging issues.
In his books 'Clarity' and 'Results', Smart goes into this basic principle in some detail, reiterating it in a variety of ways that have the potential to transform many areas of our lives.
Personally I discovered Jamie Smart's books a year ago and have been working with his principle(s) over this period and I can report an overall lessening in feelings of stress and a clearer idea of how to position myself in relation to challenges that come up daily.
One of the problems is that the principle is counter-intuitive. In other words it goes against the way things feel and appear and requires long and sustained re-programming and unlearning to acquire. We are so accustomed to believing that our feelings about the world come from outside, whereas in Jamie Smart's teaching NONE of our feelings come from outside of us.
Unlearning, or 'subtractive' learning is at the heart of the CLARITY principles that Jamie Smart teaches, which is one of the most refreshing aspects of his work: it's more about taking away the stuff that's obscuring the reality of our situations and our relationship with the world to expose the clarity and connection that are our natural condition.
The CLARITY principles do appear to be a game-changing paradigm that could transform not only the way we deal with stress and mental health, but ultimately how we relate to the world around us including our interior life.
You can find Jamie Smart's book on Amazon HERE:
One of the reasons for this could be that there is vagueness and conflicting views about how it all works. Most people have heard of Sigmund Freud of course, and many have a rough idea of his theories. But how many people can say for sure that they work or can be used to reliably treat mental illness?
Since Freud there have been a huge number of new practices and methods to treat mental illness, but none have apparently won through as being irrefutably effective or 'True', and the 'science' and practice of psychology could still be in its relative infancy.
From New Age therapies which often recycle and repackage ancient teachings for the contemporary world, to semi-scientific methods such as NLP or CBT, to psychiarty or complex approaches such as Transactional Analysis, there are a bewildering array of treatments, almost all of which claim to be the best or sometimes the ONLY path to a true sense of peace and well-being!
But surely not ALL of them can be the most effective? So, how can we tell which ones work and which don't? Should we go mainstream or left-field to enhance our mental and emotional wellness? Meditation or psychoanalysis? Life coaching or Prozac?
According to author and coach Jamie Smart, a new principle is emerging that will unify and clarify our approach to treating mental problems, and if the implications are played out in the way he suggests, far more than just these challenging issues.
In his books 'Clarity' and 'Results', Smart goes into this basic principle in some detail, reiterating it in a variety of ways that have the potential to transform many areas of our lives.
Personally I discovered Jamie Smart's books a year ago and have been working with his principle(s) over this period and I can report an overall lessening in feelings of stress and a clearer idea of how to position myself in relation to challenges that come up daily.
One of the problems is that the principle is counter-intuitive. In other words it goes against the way things feel and appear and requires long and sustained re-programming and unlearning to acquire. We are so accustomed to believing that our feelings about the world come from outside, whereas in Jamie Smart's teaching NONE of our feelings come from outside of us.
Unlearning, or 'subtractive' learning is at the heart of the CLARITY principles that Jamie Smart teaches, which is one of the most refreshing aspects of his work: it's more about taking away the stuff that's obscuring the reality of our situations and our relationship with the world to expose the clarity and connection that are our natural condition.
The CLARITY principles do appear to be a game-changing paradigm that could transform not only the way we deal with stress and mental health, but ultimately how we relate to the world around us including our interior life.
You can find Jamie Smart's book on Amazon HERE:
Wednesday, 31 October 2018
Taking small risks can lead to big transformations
The remedy for this is to throw in the occasional random element to break open new potential. This may involve taking a risk of some kind and allowing your life to become disrupted temporarily.
Here are possible ways to do this. Simply choose which ones appeal and give them a go when things start to feel stale.
- drink one or two more glasses of wine or beer than you usually would.
- call someone you haven't contacted for a while.
-do something totally different next weekend.
- take a social risk such as asking someone to go out with you who you might have considered out of reach.
- give up your job without knowing what you're going to do next.
- move to another city or country.
- take a different route to work
- go to a different cafe or pub
- go to an event or networking even if you can't think of a good logical reason for doing so.
You might want to make your own list and pin it somewhere. The point here is that throwing in a random element you are inviting the universe to bring something new into your life and opening the door to providence. It's so easy to get stuck in routines and being 'busy' to the extent that we are no longer receptive to possibility. Our minds are far too narrow to see what's possible for us, but random elements and actions can give the universe a chance to nudge us, jolt us or gently guide us in a new direction.
Wednesday, 17 October 2018
Why you should consider using a life coach.
I know, life coaching has a bit of an image problem. When I try to explain it to some people they say things like '.....but what do you DO?' They may think it all sounds a bit 'airy fairy' or 'New Age' or even (gasp) Ame-ri-can! After all, us Brits are so hard-nosed and down-to-earth right? Meat and potatoes, none of that fancy stuff for us. The stoicism that got us great! And I have to say; all that is true. There is a stoicism in the UK and it has served us well in past times. So, is that it? Should we all just grit our teeth and knuckle down with that Bulldog Spirit? Just get the job done eh Monty? Perhaps, and as a coach I would agree that there are times when this approach is extremely effective because we don't want to all be whimpering wrecks running for help at the first sign of trouble.But the reality; the reality is that we are complex beings full of feelings and we live in a world that can also be overwhelmingly hard to navigate. True, you might not hire a life coach if you're living on the breadline or struggling to feed your kids, but you might. It's no accident that life coaching has emerged at this time in human history, in western culture. People are looking for more than just life-in-survival-mode. Not surprisingly they are interested in more abstract and elusive goals such as fulfillment, happiness and achievement.
For the last few thousand years, and particularly in the last few hundred, we have lived with the urgent need to provide, for families and for ourselves. Principally this has come to be expected through an exchange of work for money. This was an exchange that worked quite well for a long time. Employees were grateful to have the security to bring up families and feel certain about the future. But things are changing. Actually they have already changed. In reality people are no longer satisfied with the deal of the industrial age under which the majority still labour. Organisations may thrive, individuals get worn out. They know they are missing out on something, and they're right.
The media works (inadvertently) in the service of companies, corporations and governments by instilling fear through relentlessly sensationalised reporting which engenders a non-stop sense of crisis so that employees are sent scurrying back to the grindstone with their heads down.
But now so many people are beginning to ask awkward questions, such as: Am I happy? Can I be happy and what will it take?
Artificial Intelligence and other technological phenomena will no doubt transform our society beyond recognition in the next decade, probably in ways that we don't even know yet. But one thing is for certain: people will have more options and more leisure time than ever before and life coaches, counsellors and psychologists will be required to help them adapt and manage the onslaught of change.
We need a way to navigate through all of this. You are not a machine. You ARE a complex, feeling individual and somewhere, somehow there is fulfillment waiting for you. You do not have to passively accept things the way they are. But as long as you are scurrying, as long as you buy into the scary looking version of the world and put your aspirations on hold, you are unlikely to be able to clear a space to really get to know who you are and why you are here, let alone do something about it.
Life coaching is a service that is perfectly suited to the existential dilemmas that are already looming for post-industrial societies.It is probably THE best and most effective way to get focused and set a course that YOU have chosen rather than feeling it has been thrust upon you. So what is it that you want to do? What will it take to get you to the place of feeling ownership of your daily activities, tuning into your purpose with a clear understanding of what's important?
Life coaching CAN be about exploring feelings, about discovering who you are and what you want. It CAN be about setting definite goals for higher achievement, success and recognition. Life coaches are interested, for the most part in supporting you in getting where you want to go, as long as it aligns with your values. Life coaching is as multi-faceted and many-layered as individuals and what happens in life coaching will depend uniquely on the person that you are.
Tuesday, 2 October 2018
3 Types of Sexuality
Issues around sexuality have become highly politicized in recent years, as individuals and groups who see themselves as representative of maligned or marginalised sexual orientations have struggled to become accepted. In some cases their struggles have appeared to pay off, as society has been shamed into changing laws and recognizing the validity of unconventional relationships such as the spectrum of LGBT orientations.
In this article I want to go beyond politics and offer an alternative view of sexuality based on Freudian psychology and Eastern philosophy. To simplify this alternative view of sexuality I have set up three brief categories that will make it easier to consider the bigger picture as well as individual circumstances in regard to sexual expression.
Sexuality, and the expression of sexual drive (libido) is a vital and important part of human existence, and compared to many issues remains highly charged with taboos, fears (based on those taboos) and misinformation. In some ways the political narrative referred to above is complicit in these taboos, since politically motivated cognitive biases have often precluded deeper enquiry by, as it were constructing a prohibitive 'electric fence' of platitude and dogma around the issues.
The following is intended to be a thought-provoking way of categorising sexuality as we move into a deeper understanding of how we can experience a greater and deeper sense of sexual fulfillment and satisfaction as mature human beings.
Type 1. Normal
According to Freud, the chances of achieving what he regards as normal adult sexuality are not particularly good and depend on a multi-layered and highly complex patchwork of factors, both internal and external. Still, this category can be regarded as the model for the reproductive imperative, the blueprint for nature to take its course in the smoothest possible way. It is a sexuality based on the primacy of the genitals in heterosexual combination. With the ultimate aim of penetration and the merging of sperm and egg, it includes the orgasmic reflex as a by-product of these aims. Thus we are looking at the best chance of nature, and by extension, evolution of taking its course.
Type 2. Perverted
Before going into detail it is important to state that the term 'perverted' does not imply any moral judgement or evaluation of this category. It is not supposed to diminish or invalidate the activities which may fall into this category or the attendant feelings, emotions and other responses that may be associated. This category refers to sexuality whereby the libidinal drive has become fixated on objects other than the 'normal' zones of erotogenic interest. It is almost as if, on the way to a normal sexual expression, the libidinal attention was detained or diverted towards an alternative for either internal or external reasons or a combination of both. Thus, for example, a fetish is a prime example since it is the fetishized object that is of primary interest and release of libidinal charge is focussed around this object rather than Freud's 'normal' erotogenic areas.
Type 3. Transcendent
This category is where the Eastern philosophy comes in since it was in the East (India, China) that sexuality was combined with spiritual practices, thus turning sexual expression into an art and a discipline rather than merely an expression of desire. In Taoist and Tantric teachings, sexual expression becomes a dance of energies and practices are proscribed to cultivate sexual energy with a view to bringing the act of sex closer to the ecstacy of spiritual union with the divine. Transcendent sex is not about fixations or personal preferences so much as following the principles that have been clearly laid down, so to speak. While a very small number of people in the west have deliberately practiced transcendent sex, access to such teachings is a simple matter, although actually attaining the goals of transcendent sexuality is probably not.
In this article I want to go beyond politics and offer an alternative view of sexuality based on Freudian psychology and Eastern philosophy. To simplify this alternative view of sexuality I have set up three brief categories that will make it easier to consider the bigger picture as well as individual circumstances in regard to sexual expression.
Sexuality, and the expression of sexual drive (libido) is a vital and important part of human existence, and compared to many issues remains highly charged with taboos, fears (based on those taboos) and misinformation. In some ways the political narrative referred to above is complicit in these taboos, since politically motivated cognitive biases have often precluded deeper enquiry by, as it were constructing a prohibitive 'electric fence' of platitude and dogma around the issues.
The following is intended to be a thought-provoking way of categorising sexuality as we move into a deeper understanding of how we can experience a greater and deeper sense of sexual fulfillment and satisfaction as mature human beings.
Type 1. Normal
According to Freud, the chances of achieving what he regards as normal adult sexuality are not particularly good and depend on a multi-layered and highly complex patchwork of factors, both internal and external. Still, this category can be regarded as the model for the reproductive imperative, the blueprint for nature to take its course in the smoothest possible way. It is a sexuality based on the primacy of the genitals in heterosexual combination. With the ultimate aim of penetration and the merging of sperm and egg, it includes the orgasmic reflex as a by-product of these aims. Thus we are looking at the best chance of nature, and by extension, evolution of taking its course.
Type 2. Perverted
Before going into detail it is important to state that the term 'perverted' does not imply any moral judgement or evaluation of this category. It is not supposed to diminish or invalidate the activities which may fall into this category or the attendant feelings, emotions and other responses that may be associated. This category refers to sexuality whereby the libidinal drive has become fixated on objects other than the 'normal' zones of erotogenic interest. It is almost as if, on the way to a normal sexual expression, the libidinal attention was detained or diverted towards an alternative for either internal or external reasons or a combination of both. Thus, for example, a fetish is a prime example since it is the fetishized object that is of primary interest and release of libidinal charge is focussed around this object rather than Freud's 'normal' erotogenic areas.
Type 3. Transcendent
This category is where the Eastern philosophy comes in since it was in the East (India, China) that sexuality was combined with spiritual practices, thus turning sexual expression into an art and a discipline rather than merely an expression of desire. In Taoist and Tantric teachings, sexual expression becomes a dance of energies and practices are proscribed to cultivate sexual energy with a view to bringing the act of sex closer to the ecstacy of spiritual union with the divine. Transcendent sex is not about fixations or personal preferences so much as following the principles that have been clearly laid down, so to speak. While a very small number of people in the west have deliberately practiced transcendent sex, access to such teachings is a simple matter, although actually attaining the goals of transcendent sexuality is probably not.
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