New Paradigm Will Be a Game Changer

Psychology and psychotherapy are subjects which still appear to divide people. If you surveyed a cross-section of the population about their thoughts on these  you would get diverse opinions about their effectiveness, some of which would probably be quite dismissive.

One of the reasons for this could be that there is vagueness and conflicting views about how it all works. Most people have heard of Sigmund Freud of course, and many have a rough idea of his theories. But how many people can say for sure that they work or can be used to reliably treat mental illness?

Since Freud there have been a huge number of new practices and methods to treat mental illness, but none have apparently won through as being irrefutably effective or 'True', and the 'science' and practice of psychology could still be in its relative infancy.

From New Age therapies which often recycle and repackage ancient teachings for the contemporary world, to semi-scientific methods such as NLP or CBT, to psychiarty or complex approaches such as Transactional Analysis, there are a  bewildering array of treatments, almost all of which claim to be the best or sometimes the ONLY path to a true sense of peace and well-being!

But surely not ALL of them can be the most effective? So, how can we tell which ones work and which don't? Should we go mainstream or left-field to enhance our mental and emotional wellness? Meditation or psychoanalysis? Life coaching or Prozac?

According to author and coach Jamie Smart, a new principle is emerging that will unify and clarify our approach to treating mental problems, and if the implications are played out in the way he suggests, far more than just these challenging issues.

In his books 'Clarity' and 'Results', Smart goes into this basic principle in some detail, reiterating it in a variety of ways that have the potential to transform many areas of our lives.

Personally I discovered Jamie Smart's books a year ago and have been working with his principle(s) over this period and I can report an overall lessening in feelings of stress and a clearer idea of how to position myself in relation to challenges that come up daily.

One of the problems is that the principle is counter-intuitive. In other words it goes against the way things feel and appear and requires long and sustained re-programming and unlearning to acquire. We are so accustomed to believing that our feelings about the world come from outside, whereas in Jamie Smart's teaching NONE of our feelings come from outside of us.

Unlearning, or 'subtractive' learning is at the heart of the CLARITY principles that Jamie Smart teaches, which is one of the most refreshing aspects of his work: it's more about taking away the stuff that's obscuring the reality of our situations and our relationship with the world to expose the clarity and connection that are our natural condition.

The CLARITY principles do appear to be a game-changing paradigm that could transform not only the way we deal with stress and mental health, but ultimately how we relate to the world around us including our interior life.


You can find Jamie Smart's book on Amazon HERE:

Taking small risks can lead to big transformations

Having an ordered life is great and highly recommended. The feeling of things being in the right place is certainly conducive to focus and well-being. But as you may be aware, there is a catch here; too much order can become limiting because our minds are simply not aware of all the possibilities around us.Control-mania can lead us to having an over-orderly life, a sort of spiritual constipation that can sap the life out of....well, your life.

The remedy for this is to throw in the occasional random element to break open new potential. This may involve taking a risk of some kind and allowing your life to become disrupted temporarily.
Here are possible ways to do this. Simply choose which ones appeal and give them a go when things start to feel stale.

- drink one or two more glasses of wine or beer than you usually would.
- call someone you haven't contacted for a while.
-do something totally different next weekend.
- take a social risk such as asking someone to go out with you who you might have considered out of reach.
- give up your job without knowing what you're going to do next.
- move to another city or country.
- take a different route to work
- go to a different cafe or pub
- go to an event or networking even if you can't think of a good logical reason for doing so.


You might want to make your own list and pin it somewhere. The point here is that throwing in a random element you are inviting the universe to bring something new into your life and opening the door to providence. It's so easy to get stuck in routines and being 'busy' to the extent that we are no longer receptive to possibility. Our minds are far too narrow to see what's possible for us, but random elements and actions can give the universe a chance to nudge us, jolt us or gently guide us in a new direction.

Get to 'know thyself'.

We all have multi-faceted personalities to one degree or another. This is different, of course, from having a 'split-personality' where one 'persona' isn't aware of the actions of another within the individual and which can be classified as a pathology. Having a multi-faceted personality simply means that we have distinct aspects with diverse types of behaviour, interests and abilities.

For example, you may have a creative side that likes to play an instrument like the piano, and which nourishes you at a profound level when it takes over. Or it may be more accurate to say that the act of playing the piano nourishes that particular aspect of your SELF, which in turn allows you to connect with something significant.

Problems can occur when one aspect is supressed or neglected, often due to a belief we have acquired about what we 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing with our time. This can lead to a sense of frustration, of feeling empty or unfulfilled, either vaguely or quite obviously.

People with a strong creative aspect will require order in their lives at times, but too much of this will start to feel extremely constraining and they may feel the urge to do something to shake things up in their lives and create a little chaos and unpredictability.

Another consideration is what each distinct 'persona' thinks about the others. We may have an aspirational side, most of us do, but this aspect may become cowed into submission by the cold hard logic of a more judgemental aspect.

One of the most fundamental pieces of wisdom in history comes from the Apollonian inscription 'know thyself' and this really is the key to a balanced, fulfilled existence. Knowing yourself is all about understanding these facets of your SELF, how they operate, what they need and how you can allow them to work for you rather than against you.

Doing this requires honesty and some objectivity. Working with a coach or counsellor is ideal. Take some time to REALLY get to know yourself, even if you think you've already done it. Maybe it's time to get re-acquainted and ensure that you are truly nourished as you move towards more prosperity and well-being.

Rihanna comes out for the gentleman!

Respect to Rihanna for her recent statements on men. In an interview with the Evening Standard she describes her personal malaise in the area of relationships with guys, and wonders despairingly why they/we are not gentlemen anymore. "They think that...." she says, "if you take a chair out for a lady, or you're nice or even affectionate to your girl in front of your boys, you're less of a man. It's so sick. They won't be a gentleman because that makes them appear soft."

Leaving aside the discussion as to whether Rihanna is actually 'a lady', she does make a significant point which, when we follow its train of thought seems to lead us into a quagmire of gender-based contradictions.
Young men, like young women, are at the receiving end of a tidal wave of images that suggest, if not actually dictate, the way they should 'be' and what is acceptable, desirable and undesirable for a man to strive for in these times. One of the first to be accused and held responsible must surely be the Hollywood film industry which produces extremely potent role models and stories that undoubtedly leave a hefty imprint on the collective psyche. If we look at those Hollywood heroes we see that, since the time of the first Rocky movies, the male blueprint laid down by the industry has become increasingly tough, macho, pumped up, violent etc. Hugh Jackman, for example does not strike one as much of a book-reading man of sophistication. We also note that unmasculine men are often portrayed as suspicious and untrustworthy in these genres. There are exceptions of course, but on the whole it is muscle that seems to win out as the number one quality for a man to possess, just like for women it is a slim waistline and an inflatable chest. Englishmen are usually portrayed as villains with suspect sexual tendencies in the Hollywood genre too, which further compounds the suggestion that sophistication in a man is not to be pursued.

Such stereotypes are swallowed whole, and to some extent we participate in their propagation when we pay to see such movies. Young guys get the message that ruggedness, not sensitivity is to be cultivated. Male rap stars write ludicrous lyrics that are insulting to women and carry violent implications. Such 'music' is pumped across the globe, the rap stars are seen to become conspicuously wealthy and then we wonder why our young men are growing up with misogynist tendencies! We can begin to see how crazy and out-of-whack the whole picture actually is.

In the 1970's things were different. The cult of the hippy made it cool for men to show their sensitivity towards nature and to openly express their spiritual leanings, but all that changed in the 80's when inner searching gave way to materialism and it's attendant hubris. To display one's wealth rather than one's earth-consciousness became the preferred magnet for female attention, and of course most women participated (and still participate) in this by declaring themselves 'material girls'. Repulsed by male arrogance and violent tendencies, many women continue to hold out an immature longing for the strong armed hero to sweep them off their feet. But if brutishness is what you want, brutishness is what you will get, especially if you are a beautiful woman!

To further complicate matters there is the argument that women are actually far more attracted to husky-voiced hunks than they are to men of learning and sensitivity. After all, we're talking polar attraction here, aren't we? If men and women become more like each other, won't we lose the polarity that makes.....well, the world go round? Possibly not. Surely we have come further than such primitive imperatives would suggest and must affirm a more refined definition of positive gender identity.

Rihanna's statement that she's holding out for a gentleman rather than a hero is a positive and sensible one from an unexpected quarter. Let's hope that more prominent females have the good sense to lead men away from dysfunctional role templates and towards a more mature aspiration, even if it does sound a bit old fashioned.