Get to 'know thyself'.

We all have multi-faceted personalities to one degree or another. This is different, of course, from having a 'split-personality' where one 'persona' isn't aware of the actions of another within the individual and which can be classified as a pathology. Having a multi-faceted personality simply means that we have distinct aspects with diverse types of behaviour, interests and abilities.

For example, you may have a creative side that likes to play an instrument like the piano, and which nourishes you at a profound level when it takes over. Or it may be more accurate to say that the act of playing the piano nourishes that particular aspect of your SELF, which in turn allows you to connect with something significant.

Problems can occur when one aspect is supressed or neglected, often due to a belief we have acquired about what we 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing with our time. This can lead to a sense of frustration, of feeling empty or unfulfilled, either vaguely or quite obviously.

People with a strong creative aspect will require order in their lives at times, but too much of this will start to feel extremely constraining and they may feel the urge to do something to shake things up in their lives and create a little chaos and unpredictability.

Another consideration is what each distinct 'persona' thinks about the others. We may have an aspirational side, most of us do, but this aspect may become cowed into submission by the cold hard logic of a more judgemental aspect.

One of the most fundamental pieces of wisdom in history comes from the Apollonian inscription 'know thyself' and this really is the key to a balanced, fulfilled existence. Knowing yourself is all about understanding these facets of your SELF, how they operate, what they need and how you can allow them to work for you rather than against you.

Doing this requires honesty and some objectivity. Working with a coach or counsellor is ideal. Take some time to REALLY get to know yourself, even if you think you've already done it. Maybe it's time to get re-acquainted and ensure that you are truly nourished as you move towards more prosperity and well-being.

How do you get good advice for the New Year?

With all the noise out there in the digital space (including this blog 😄) it's easy to become overwhelmed. In fact it's a bit worse than that because if we listen to all the advice out there about how to proceed with our lives we can end up being confused at best, a bit crazy at worst. In addition, if you're like me, you may have taken advice that turns out to be costly in terms of time and money and which doesn't get you the results you expected.

If you have reached this point, and I know that I've been there more than once, it is helpful to distinguish between information and intelligence. Although people can offer valuable information, the reality is that 99% of what's out there in the digital space is basically just information.

Intelligence can be seen differently. Intelligence is what you apply to your own special circumstances and as a response to whatever situation in which you find yourself.

Osho talks about the 'creative response to now' to describe this kind of intelligence.This is a kind of wisdom, something innate beyond the noise and all the information 'out there'.

Try following yourself and your own wisdom. This doesn't mean of course that you never listen to anyone or seek support. Someone may use their own innate wisdom to support you in response to your special situation for example, as in the case of a guide, therapist or coach.

Beware of people offering specific advice to everyone, because while the advice isn't necessarily bad, it just may not be the right fit for your circumstances. (I am aware of course, that by writing this blog I am setting a trap for myself, but I think you can get my point here!).

Most of the people giving advice of one kind or another in the digital space want you to keep coming back for more. Think about this: if they solved all your problems you wouldn't need to come back for more and they wouldn't be able to sell you any more courses or products!

I am not saying they are con artists (although some of them may be!) or that they do not genuinely want to help. I am just pointing out that what worked for them is unlikely to work in the same way (or at all) for you.

Inside you there IS an innate intelligence and it is possible to cultivate that. This means learning to unplug and switch off. It means learning to listen to the universe which is everywhere, both inside and outside of you.It means going beyond information into something deeper.

See this as a long term project. It will take time.

Showing Up

Shakespeare's observation that 'all the world's a stage' is a cliche that has never been more true, and more confusing than nowadays where we have the ability to create and animate a multiplicity of identities via electronic media, as well as social circles in which we move. Through such channels we can show up in a variety of ways, and furthermore we can objectify our own identity in ever increasing aspects, having it reflected back to us whenever we access our various accounts.
Generally speaking, we want to create a positive image through such identities, one that encourages people to 'follow' us or gets us the kind of attention that could potentially turn into profit or at least, a favourable social profile.
     But what about when we actually show up in person? Because when this happens, there's no getting away from the reality of who we are in the world. Of course we can fool some of the people some of the time, and so on, but not for too long, especially when those people are more experienced, more knowledgeable and more perceptive than we are. By definition of course, if you want to develop your career, you'll need to impress exactly these sort of people, and these sort of people will most certainly notice how you show up, when you show up.

 Of course, how you show up depends on who you are showing up for, what the circumstances are and so on. How you show up on your first day of work at a company will almost certainly be quite different from your 1000th day at the same company. How you show up when you meet your friends for a few drinks will obviously be different from how you show up at a job interview. But not too different. There will be some considerable overlap otherwise we're looking at authenticity issues here!

An actor tries to convince an audience that they are actually the person in the role they are playing and through the magic of our brains being able to 'suspend disbelief' we are able to buy into that illusion, provided the acting itself is sufficiently convincing and not unnatural or inconsistent.The same can be said in real life, except in real life we have to actually become the part we are playing, in varying degrees for varying lengths of time.

So the question is: how DO you show up? Yes YOU! Or, to put it another way:
Do you show up as a possibility?

Are you showing up as someone that gets things done, that facilitates, that contributes, strengthens, focuses and engages? Or do you show up as someone that creates a burden, gets in the way, creates discord, distracts, slows things down, is needy, calculating or egocentric?

Of course we all think we know how we are being, but unfortunately it is not so simple, not by a long shot. When it comes to engagement and communication, there are tremendous blind spots that may be glaringly obvious to others. One way to get feedback of course is to look at the results you are getting. Do people respond to you positively?Or do you consistently get reactions that you didn't expect, or which seem 'unfair' to you? If the latter is the case, it may be that the way you are showing up and the way you see yourself are not in alignment. Our biggest problem is the ego. We may convince ourselves that we are just right for the part, but unlike actors on the stage, few of us have a director or producer to guide and coach us as we play each scene (experienced actors may not need, or think they need such guidance).

Another way to know more about how you show up is to ask for feedback, or get training, coaching or mentoring. If we can deal with the sometimes painful truth that constitutes the deficit between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us, then we are well on our way to getting places we want to go.

For a free training video on 'Showing Up' visit my You Tube channel at the following link
Showing Up

So you wanna be an innovator?

The idea of being an innovator may sound very nice or appealing, but what does it really take to be an innovator and how do we know if we are on the right track?

One way of testing whether or not your ideas are truly penetrating is to, obviously share them with others. Some people will probably find them 'interesting', some will become converts almost immediately, but the real test is whether or not your ideas seem to cause offence among the 'business as usual' thinkers that carry on their lives as if the answer to everything is obvious and plain common sense! You'll know if you are onto something interesting when these types not only oppose your ideas, but seem to take them as personal affronts. In time, you'll come to recognise the peculiar quality of this type of resistance because it has a particularly nasty undertone. When you first start to innovate freely and experience this phenomenon, you may find it disturbing and want to retreat or even feel as if you should apologise. You may even decide that innovation is simply too much grief and go back to doing things 'their' way or continue your work in secret. On the other hand, if you persist, you'll come to understand that such reactions are a sure sign that you've hit on something meaningful and that they are just part of the package. I'm not talking here about trying to offend people by making gratuitously extreme statements.I mean that when you start asking certain questions about how things are done, and why they are done this way, you will see how threatened some people apparently feel by the implications of your sincere desire to push forward into new territory. The solution? Just understand, and appreciate what you're getting yourself into.

The Prosperity Mindset

    An American author and speaker by the name of Randy Gage is a specialist on the subject of prosperity and the prosperity mindset. His compelling claim is that prosperity is a state of mind that goes beyond how you see issues relating to wealth and money. In his definition, prosperity is a lifestyle and concerns your health and diet, exercise, friends and associates, beliefs, activities, habits etc etc.

   We all want to prosper, but according to Randy Gage, most of us have thought patterns, or 'mind-viruses' that prevent or obstruct us from doing so. These can manifest in many different ways. For example, there's the 'victim mentality' where we see ourselves as forlorn but heroic individuals struggling against the big corporation, our employer, the politicians etc. Another damaging idea that many people hold is 'the entitlement mentality' where we affirm our right to a free education, healthcare, public services etc without necessarily giving back very much to society. Another idea that is perhaps more controversial is the question of who gets to benefit from our ability to add value and solve problems in society. Randy Gage's libertarian point of view is that we are entitled to receive in proportion to the value we create in society, an idea which is antithetical, for example to socialism where the spoils of enterprise and innovation are forcibly redistributed.

Have you ever felt resentment towards that big, pinstripe suited guy gliding past behind the wheel of his Rolls Royce while you stand at the curb waiting to cross the road in the rain? If the answer is 'Yes' even for a split second, then you are infected with limiting and anti-prosperity memes, or thought patterns. You might not go so far as to run your key down the side of his vehicle when you see it parked, but you are only two or three steps removed from this point of view. You might catch yourself thinking, for example something cynical that suggests the rich guy must have done something dishonest to get where he is today.Behind such thoughts lurk anti-prosperity patterns that can sabotage your ability to create prosperity in your life.

A person's ability to be wealthy, according to the prosperity mindset, depends not on their background, education, work ethic or ability to save but on their values and relationship with principles of prosperity. Thus, a person born into a rich family will not remain so if they acquire anti-prosperity patterns as they grow up. The fact that most children of wealthy people remain wealthy is due to their inheritance of a prosperity mindset and growing up in a an environment where prosperity is a fact of life. For these people, there is often no need to adjust their patterns. But for most of us, there is work to be done in analyzing truthfully and courageously our REAL relationship with prosperity, asking where our ideas came from and whether or not they support us in having a shot of living happy and complete lives.

If you're interested in finding our more about the prosperity mindset, a recommended book is Randy Gage's "Why You're Poor Sick Dumb and Broke and How to get Healthy, Wealthy and Wise."

Why the mind is designed to stop us growing.

Most people in western society would probably describe themselves as open-minded. However, it doesn't take much testing to discover that this claim is often made falsely. There is a good reason for this being the case and it lies in the nature of the mind itself.

We can think of the mind as being like a machine or a computational device. It produces thoughts, feelings and images in response to incoming data or stimuli. It works automatically, driven purely by the incoming stimuli, giving out results in the form of judgement, words, concepts and emotions that can be experienced as waves of varying intensity. For the most part, such responses from the mind go unchallenged. In other words we tend to accept these mind-responses as true, as real and as 'us'.

In addition to this machine-like modus operandi, another characteristic of  the mind is the impulse to defend itself, and what it sees as its integrity in response to new stimuli. The mind knows itself very well, although it tries to conceal this fact from all of us. It knows that its foundations, its principles and beliefs are in fact very shaky and it needs to keep this fact away from our consciousness as much as possible by putting on a good show of being confident or sure of its opinions. Notice that this is a characteristic that tends to strengthen with age.

 In this way, when something threatens the minds' integrity by introducing a radically new idea, the mind's instinct is to close ranks and defend against such an invasion. It also needs to produce a justification for doing this in the form of a belief, facts, data and opinions.  This is one of the characteristics of the mind that keeps people stuck in life patterns that don't work, that bring harmful or damaging results, and that allow them to cede responsibility for their own existence.

We can also think of the mind as a system. A system is something that works with an integrity, or completeness that allows it to function. Closed systems have the characteristic of running down over time in accordance with the 2nd law of thermodynamics. However, an open system that has the capacity to exchange energy with the environment has the potential to expand by 'escaping into a higher order' . this can occur when the system interacts with the environment to the degree that it is sufficiently destabilized that its whole integrity is threatened. When this process is pushed beyond the tipping point, the system either collapses altogether or re-arranges itself in a new and superior pattern that has the capacity to incorporate and make use of the new level of interaction with the external environment. 

When we apply this principle to the mind we see that before expanding into a higher order, the mind's integrity must be threatened to the extent that it is destabilized and this would involve challenging and undermining the core principles and beliefs that keep the mind locked in a set of limiting patterns.

Unfortunately, the mind itself is structured to exclude and avoid such experiences. This is partly due to a cultural meme that says something like 'It's bad to be uncertain, destabilized and have our views undermined'.

In order to expand our mind, our view of the world and our possibilities, we must open to new ideas and remain open. Understanding that a period of mild or extreme destabilization is part of this process can help us to engage more productively and grow as we expand our view of the world on an ongoing basis.

Michael Brooman June 2015

A REAL alternative-Part 2

In the first part of this two-part blog post, I described how I came across the 'teachings' of Robert Scheinfeld as a REALLY alternative way of living.
I'm going to continue here by going into more detail about what differentiates these teachings and why you may wish to investigate this opportunity further.

If you look at most self-help programs, techniques and strategies, you'll see that they recommend a set of actions that are supposed to change or improve our lives in one way or another. Let's take as an example meditation. In meditation the aim is to quieten the mind by going into a particular state that may involve breathing techniques, counting and/or forms of visualisation. The idea is that we can close out the 'noise' and interference of our busy mind and experience a state that is closer to 'blissful' or 'calm' or 'peaceful'. The implication is that we can feel 'better' or happier or more in control by doing this and that it will somehow impact on our lives.
This is fine as long as it lasts, but if you have ever tried meditation you will know that as soon as the session is over, the mind starts up it's activity again and very soon we are back where we started. In other words the supposedly positive effects only last as long as we are engaged in meditation itself and sometimes for a short while afterwards.No real transformation of our actual EXPERIENCE has taken place.
The structure and aim of meditation is based around the wish to change our state, even if only temporarily, and experience a different state of being which by implication is superior. Unfortunately it is an aim that is in direct opposition to the way our contemporary lives are structured and the way our minds function.

In the teachings of Robert Scheinfeld, which I shall refer to as Phase 2 from here, there is an opportunity to move into an experience of appreciating whatever we are experiencing, whether we call it peace, calm, stress, fatigue, excitement, frustration, anger etc. What Phase 2 represents is a major, MAJOR shift in the way we perceive experiences. It is almost a mirror image of our 'normal' way of perceiving and experiencing the world, which is called Phase 1 in Robert's work.

In Phase 1 of our human experience, there are 'good' and 'bad' events and emotions. Judging our experience in this way is SO ingrained that it is rare that we even question the validity of our judgements.
Almost all self-help and wellness techniques incorporate the idea that there are good and bad experiences and states of being. They attempt to maximise the 'good' ones and minimise the 'bad' ones through an endless variety of strategies.
In the Phase 2 model that Scheinfeld teaches, these distinctions are seen, and experienced in a wholly new light which increasingly as time moves on provides a gateway to a completely different way of living.
In my view, the central piece and most powerful tool that Robert Scheinfeld offers us is something called 'The Process' which is an activity for transforming the way we experience the world and in particular the emotions and events that we would usually term 'bad' or 'negative'. This Process also transforms 'how' we live our lives as the established 'change, fix and improve' way of living gives way to a massive sense of appreciation and openness to whatever comes along in our lives.

The Phase 2 journey, which involves the transformation over time of how we experience ourselves and our lives is a significant undertaking which in most cases will run into years of living in Phase 2 mode before entering a new state which can be termed Phase 3. Yet the journey itself is a fascinating and rewarding one that gives us a completely different perspective on what is REALLY happening here in the world, where the REAL power source driving reality is located, and what's REALLY possible in this realm that we could call 'The Human Game.'
For more information, Phase 2/3 coaching is available in the UK by writing to me at:

pathway@michaelbrooman.co.uk

A REAL Alternative- Part 1

Many self-help and wellness techniques and methods purport to offer an alternative way of living. Indeed, in London the biggest 'New Age' organisation that distributes such techniques and teachings calls itself Alternatives. But in what sense are the teachings that they offer real alternatives?

In my experience, what may look like an alternative at first often turns out to be not so alternative after all. A lot of self-help and wellness methods,techniques and strategies sound and look extremely convincing and seductive. But when it comes down to it, how many of them truly offer an alternative way of living and looking at what's going on in the world?

For many years, I was also looking for an alternative. I was certain that there was another way of living that did not conform to the traditional views of the world and how things happen. I searched and experimented. At one time in my 20's I even went to live with a group of travellers, hoping to discover an alternative lifestyle. What I found disappointed me. The only thing that was alternative about them was the fact that they lived in a bus instead of a house. Apart from that, they seemed much the same as everyone else.

Later I got involved with various 'New Age' type approaches, often based on ancient wisdom, and although I found the ideas and concepts quite exciting and engaging, I found that they did not offer up a lifestyle that was both practical and truly alternative. They might for example teach or suggest a technique or strategy that could be applied at times to supposedly get desired effects, but they did not offer what really felt like a truly alternative approach to living. At another stage I discovered some of the top professional coaches that teach people how to 'be the best' and perform at a high level. Again, they offered some exciting ideas but in the end they were for the most part suggesting that we simply do more, MUCH more in order to get results. For example, they might advise getting 'super fit', which is a great idea but extremely difficult to manage if you are not a full-time athlete or fanatical about exercise!

About 9 years ago I became interested in the teachings of the American self-help author Robert Scheinfeld. At the time he was offering a program called the Seven Power Centres of Life. In his pitch he mentioned that this was something very different from most 'alternative' teachings. It was also a new offering that he had put together that would later morph into what became the Busting Loose model and more recently, the Ultimate Key to Freedom.

At the time I heard his pitch I had reached a low point. It was soon after I had been divorced and I'd just got dumped by a girlfriend very unceremoniously. In short I was feeling that life was turning into a big disappointment! In the words of Morpheus in the film, The Matrix, I felt that "something was wrong with the world". I decided to give Robert Scheinfeld's course, for which he was making some dramatic claims, a try. What did I have to lose?

Robert Scheinfeld's course did turn out to be different from anything I had experienced before. It also turned into a life changing event that took me on an extraordinary journey of discovery and 'expansion'. From the outside one might be forgiven for thinking that Robert Scheinfeld is just another 'self-help guru' marketing his products in a way that is very slick and professional. Indeed at first sight, Robert's products may look similar to those of many others in the self-help field. However, what I learned from deep and profound personal experience was that the similarity ends there and that whatever you may be thinking these products are about, it does not come close to the truth of what this particular journey has looked and felt like for myself and many others.

In the next part of this blog I will go into more detail about Robert Scheinfeld's approach and teachings. In the meantime if you would like to know more you can go to the link below and access a free introduction from Robert Scheinfeld.

http://www.robertscheinfeld.com/spiritual-teaching-modern-times/

Alternatively I am offering personal coaching through my coaching website at

https://sites.google.com/site/pathwayyoucoaching/Our-coaching