Get to 'know thyself'.

We all have multi-faceted personalities to one degree or another. This is different, of course, from having a 'split-personality' where one 'persona' isn't aware of the actions of another within the individual and which can be classified as a pathology. Having a multi-faceted personality simply means that we have distinct aspects with diverse types of behaviour, interests and abilities.

For example, you may have a creative side that likes to play an instrument like the piano, and which nourishes you at a profound level when it takes over. Or it may be more accurate to say that the act of playing the piano nourishes that particular aspect of your SELF, which in turn allows you to connect with something significant.

Problems can occur when one aspect is supressed or neglected, often due to a belief we have acquired about what we 'should' or 'shouldn't' be doing with our time. This can lead to a sense of frustration, of feeling empty or unfulfilled, either vaguely or quite obviously.

People with a strong creative aspect will require order in their lives at times, but too much of this will start to feel extremely constraining and they may feel the urge to do something to shake things up in their lives and create a little chaos and unpredictability.

Another consideration is what each distinct 'persona' thinks about the others. We may have an aspirational side, most of us do, but this aspect may become cowed into submission by the cold hard logic of a more judgemental aspect.

One of the most fundamental pieces of wisdom in history comes from the Apollonian inscription 'know thyself' and this really is the key to a balanced, fulfilled existence. Knowing yourself is all about understanding these facets of your SELF, how they operate, what they need and how you can allow them to work for you rather than against you.

Doing this requires honesty and some objectivity. Working with a coach or counsellor is ideal. Take some time to REALLY get to know yourself, even if you think you've already done it. Maybe it's time to get re-acquainted and ensure that you are truly nourished as you move towards more prosperity and well-being.

Showing Up

Shakespeare's observation that 'all the world's a stage' is a cliche that has never been more true, and more confusing than nowadays where we have the ability to create and animate a multiplicity of identities via electronic media, as well as social circles in which we move. Through such channels we can show up in a variety of ways, and furthermore we can objectify our own identity in ever increasing aspects, having it reflected back to us whenever we access our various accounts.
Generally speaking, we want to create a positive image through such identities, one that encourages people to 'follow' us or gets us the kind of attention that could potentially turn into profit or at least, a favourable social profile.
     But what about when we actually show up in person? Because when this happens, there's no getting away from the reality of who we are in the world. Of course we can fool some of the people some of the time, and so on, but not for too long, especially when those people are more experienced, more knowledgeable and more perceptive than we are. By definition of course, if you want to develop your career, you'll need to impress exactly these sort of people, and these sort of people will most certainly notice how you show up, when you show up.

 Of course, how you show up depends on who you are showing up for, what the circumstances are and so on. How you show up on your first day of work at a company will almost certainly be quite different from your 1000th day at the same company. How you show up when you meet your friends for a few drinks will obviously be different from how you show up at a job interview. But not too different. There will be some considerable overlap otherwise we're looking at authenticity issues here!

An actor tries to convince an audience that they are actually the person in the role they are playing and through the magic of our brains being able to 'suspend disbelief' we are able to buy into that illusion, provided the acting itself is sufficiently convincing and not unnatural or inconsistent.The same can be said in real life, except in real life we have to actually become the part we are playing, in varying degrees for varying lengths of time.

So the question is: how DO you show up? Yes YOU! Or, to put it another way:
Do you show up as a possibility?

Are you showing up as someone that gets things done, that facilitates, that contributes, strengthens, focuses and engages? Or do you show up as someone that creates a burden, gets in the way, creates discord, distracts, slows things down, is needy, calculating or egocentric?

Of course we all think we know how we are being, but unfortunately it is not so simple, not by a long shot. When it comes to engagement and communication, there are tremendous blind spots that may be glaringly obvious to others. One way to get feedback of course is to look at the results you are getting. Do people respond to you positively?Or do you consistently get reactions that you didn't expect, or which seem 'unfair' to you? If the latter is the case, it may be that the way you are showing up and the way you see yourself are not in alignment. Our biggest problem is the ego. We may convince ourselves that we are just right for the part, but unlike actors on the stage, few of us have a director or producer to guide and coach us as we play each scene (experienced actors may not need, or think they need such guidance).

Another way to know more about how you show up is to ask for feedback, or get training, coaching or mentoring. If we can deal with the sometimes painful truth that constitutes the deficit between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us, then we are well on our way to getting places we want to go.

For a free training video on 'Showing Up' visit my You Tube channel at the following link
Showing Up

The Prosperity Mindset

    An American author and speaker by the name of Randy Gage is a specialist on the subject of prosperity and the prosperity mindset. His compelling claim is that prosperity is a state of mind that goes beyond how you see issues relating to wealth and money. In his definition, prosperity is a lifestyle and concerns your health and diet, exercise, friends and associates, beliefs, activities, habits etc etc.

   We all want to prosper, but according to Randy Gage, most of us have thought patterns, or 'mind-viruses' that prevent or obstruct us from doing so. These can manifest in many different ways. For example, there's the 'victim mentality' where we see ourselves as forlorn but heroic individuals struggling against the big corporation, our employer, the politicians etc. Another damaging idea that many people hold is 'the entitlement mentality' where we affirm our right to a free education, healthcare, public services etc without necessarily giving back very much to society. Another idea that is perhaps more controversial is the question of who gets to benefit from our ability to add value and solve problems in society. Randy Gage's libertarian point of view is that we are entitled to receive in proportion to the value we create in society, an idea which is antithetical, for example to socialism where the spoils of enterprise and innovation are forcibly redistributed.

Have you ever felt resentment towards that big, pinstripe suited guy gliding past behind the wheel of his Rolls Royce while you stand at the curb waiting to cross the road in the rain? If the answer is 'Yes' even for a split second, then you are infected with limiting and anti-prosperity memes, or thought patterns. You might not go so far as to run your key down the side of his vehicle when you see it parked, but you are only two or three steps removed from this point of view. You might catch yourself thinking, for example something cynical that suggests the rich guy must have done something dishonest to get where he is today.Behind such thoughts lurk anti-prosperity patterns that can sabotage your ability to create prosperity in your life.

A person's ability to be wealthy, according to the prosperity mindset, depends not on their background, education, work ethic or ability to save but on their values and relationship with principles of prosperity. Thus, a person born into a rich family will not remain so if they acquire anti-prosperity patterns as they grow up. The fact that most children of wealthy people remain wealthy is due to their inheritance of a prosperity mindset and growing up in a an environment where prosperity is a fact of life. For these people, there is often no need to adjust their patterns. But for most of us, there is work to be done in analyzing truthfully and courageously our REAL relationship with prosperity, asking where our ideas came from and whether or not they support us in having a shot of living happy and complete lives.

If you're interested in finding our more about the prosperity mindset, a recommended book is Randy Gage's "Why You're Poor Sick Dumb and Broke and How to get Healthy, Wealthy and Wise."

Goal Setting- Beware!

If you plug into the personal and professional development world, as I have done for many years, you will immediately encounter the notion that setting goals is good. Many trusted professional advisers will actually tell you that if you do not set goals you will never arrive or achieve the things you 'want' in life.

Personally I have never been a goal setter by instinct. Yes I always had things that I 'wanted' but in terms of mapping out a path for achieving them, that was something I never felt motivated to do. However, a couple of years ago I reached a point where I started to listen to the authors and top coaches who insist that setting goals is the right path to travel if we ever want to be satisfied.
So I gave it a try. I even wrote down in detail the goals that I thought I wanted to achieve and how I would achieve them. 30 day goals, 90 day goals, 6 month goals et cetera.I was determined. This time I would work towards my goals, achieve them and get the things I 'wanted'.

But an interesting thing happened. Life happened. I found that some of the ways I had set to achieve my goals did not suit me. They felt 'wrong' and were simply not very interesting for me to be involved in.I found it exhausting and stressful to even think about some of them. Life was already busy, but these goals involved taking massive added action that I had neither the energy nor enthusiasm to go through with. Furthermore, when I went back to review my goals after a few weeks, I wasn't even sure that these were the things I really wanted!

Another thing that occurred to me was this: supposing I carry out all these actions over 6 months and then whatever number of years and I DON'T reach the goals that I'm not totally sure I want anyway? I would have wasted years of time and energy doing stuff that wasn't fun or particularly creative. Or, supposing I carried out all the actions over several years and I DID reach these goals and then found that I didn't really want them after all? Or, supposing I carried out my plans and became bored with the predictability of it all, ignoring the random stuff that comes up in life so that I can focus on these goals?

Yes I understand that for some people, goal-setting does appear to work. I understand that some people swear by it and seem to use it quite effectively. But to me, it seems like a very constraining way to live.

We all have 'wants' and 'desires'. These are things we say that we want. But how often do we question WHY it is that we want these things? Where do these desires actually come from? More importantly, how do we really know that they will improve our lives and bring us satisfaction? Short answer, we don't. The world is littered with individual examples of people that achieved their goals but were far from happy or satisfied. They got the stuff that almost everyone on the planet would say that they want, but it didn't really do them any good in the long run.

More money, a beautiful body, a new relationship,fame, success, a 'better' job, a new car, whatever. These type of things are VERY seductive from the outside but setting our goals on such 'outer world' items at the expense of our inner world, can lead to misery rather than happiness.

I am not saying here that setting goals is bad or wrong. I am saying BE CAREFUL. Where are those things that we so desperately seem to want coming from? What's behind all of it? Maybe these are questions that we could spend our time investigating, and maybe the answers would transform the way we see our whole lives, especially the things we say we 'want'.