How do you get good advice for the New Year?

With all the noise out there in the digital space (including this blog 😄) it's easy to become overwhelmed. In fact it's a bit worse than that because if we listen to all the advice out there about how to proceed with our lives we can end up being confused at best, a bit crazy at worst. In addition, if you're like me, you may have taken advice that turns out to be costly in terms of time and money and which doesn't get you the results you expected.

If you have reached this point, and I know that I've been there more than once, it is helpful to distinguish between information and intelligence. Although people can offer valuable information, the reality is that 99% of what's out there in the digital space is basically just information.

Intelligence can be seen differently. Intelligence is what you apply to your own special circumstances and as a response to whatever situation in which you find yourself.

Osho talks about the 'creative response to now' to describe this kind of intelligence.This is a kind of wisdom, something innate beyond the noise and all the information 'out there'.

Try following yourself and your own wisdom. This doesn't mean of course that you never listen to anyone or seek support. Someone may use their own innate wisdom to support you in response to your special situation for example, as in the case of a guide, therapist or coach.

Beware of people offering specific advice to everyone, because while the advice isn't necessarily bad, it just may not be the right fit for your circumstances. (I am aware of course, that by writing this blog I am setting a trap for myself, but I think you can get my point here!).

Most of the people giving advice of one kind or another in the digital space want you to keep coming back for more. Think about this: if they solved all your problems you wouldn't need to come back for more and they wouldn't be able to sell you any more courses or products!

I am not saying they are con artists (although some of them may be!) or that they do not genuinely want to help. I am just pointing out that what worked for them is unlikely to work in the same way (or at all) for you.

Inside you there IS an innate intelligence and it is possible to cultivate that. This means learning to unplug and switch off. It means learning to listen to the universe which is everywhere, both inside and outside of you.It means going beyond information into something deeper.

See this as a long term project. It will take time.

Showing Up

Shakespeare's observation that 'all the world's a stage' is a cliche that has never been more true, and more confusing than nowadays where we have the ability to create and animate a multiplicity of identities via electronic media, as well as social circles in which we move. Through such channels we can show up in a variety of ways, and furthermore we can objectify our own identity in ever increasing aspects, having it reflected back to us whenever we access our various accounts.
Generally speaking, we want to create a positive image through such identities, one that encourages people to 'follow' us or gets us the kind of attention that could potentially turn into profit or at least, a favourable social profile.
     But what about when we actually show up in person? Because when this happens, there's no getting away from the reality of who we are in the world. Of course we can fool some of the people some of the time, and so on, but not for too long, especially when those people are more experienced, more knowledgeable and more perceptive than we are. By definition of course, if you want to develop your career, you'll need to impress exactly these sort of people, and these sort of people will most certainly notice how you show up, when you show up.

 Of course, how you show up depends on who you are showing up for, what the circumstances are and so on. How you show up on your first day of work at a company will almost certainly be quite different from your 1000th day at the same company. How you show up when you meet your friends for a few drinks will obviously be different from how you show up at a job interview. But not too different. There will be some considerable overlap otherwise we're looking at authenticity issues here!

An actor tries to convince an audience that they are actually the person in the role they are playing and through the magic of our brains being able to 'suspend disbelief' we are able to buy into that illusion, provided the acting itself is sufficiently convincing and not unnatural or inconsistent.The same can be said in real life, except in real life we have to actually become the part we are playing, in varying degrees for varying lengths of time.

So the question is: how DO you show up? Yes YOU! Or, to put it another way:
Do you show up as a possibility?

Are you showing up as someone that gets things done, that facilitates, that contributes, strengthens, focuses and engages? Or do you show up as someone that creates a burden, gets in the way, creates discord, distracts, slows things down, is needy, calculating or egocentric?

Of course we all think we know how we are being, but unfortunately it is not so simple, not by a long shot. When it comes to engagement and communication, there are tremendous blind spots that may be glaringly obvious to others. One way to get feedback of course is to look at the results you are getting. Do people respond to you positively?Or do you consistently get reactions that you didn't expect, or which seem 'unfair' to you? If the latter is the case, it may be that the way you are showing up and the way you see yourself are not in alignment. Our biggest problem is the ego. We may convince ourselves that we are just right for the part, but unlike actors on the stage, few of us have a director or producer to guide and coach us as we play each scene (experienced actors may not need, or think they need such guidance).

Another way to know more about how you show up is to ask for feedback, or get training, coaching or mentoring. If we can deal with the sometimes painful truth that constitutes the deficit between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us, then we are well on our way to getting places we want to go.

For a free training video on 'Showing Up' visit my You Tube channel at the following link
Showing Up