New Paradigm Will Be a Game Changer

Psychology and psychotherapy are subjects which still appear to divide people. If you surveyed a cross-section of the population about their thoughts on these  you would get diverse opinions about their effectiveness, some of which would probably be quite dismissive.

One of the reasons for this could be that there is vagueness and conflicting views about how it all works. Most people have heard of Sigmund Freud of course, and many have a rough idea of his theories. But how many people can say for sure that they work or can be used to reliably treat mental illness?

Since Freud there have been a huge number of new practices and methods to treat mental illness, but none have apparently won through as being irrefutably effective or 'True', and the 'science' and practice of psychology could still be in its relative infancy.

From New Age therapies which often recycle and repackage ancient teachings for the contemporary world, to semi-scientific methods such as NLP or CBT, to psychiarty or complex approaches such as Transactional Analysis, there are a  bewildering array of treatments, almost all of which claim to be the best or sometimes the ONLY path to a true sense of peace and well-being!

But surely not ALL of them can be the most effective? So, how can we tell which ones work and which don't? Should we go mainstream or left-field to enhance our mental and emotional wellness? Meditation or psychoanalysis? Life coaching or Prozac?

According to author and coach Jamie Smart, a new principle is emerging that will unify and clarify our approach to treating mental problems, and if the implications are played out in the way he suggests, far more than just these challenging issues.

In his books 'Clarity' and 'Results', Smart goes into this basic principle in some detail, reiterating it in a variety of ways that have the potential to transform many areas of our lives.

Personally I discovered Jamie Smart's books a year ago and have been working with his principle(s) over this period and I can report an overall lessening in feelings of stress and a clearer idea of how to position myself in relation to challenges that come up daily.

One of the problems is that the principle is counter-intuitive. In other words it goes against the way things feel and appear and requires long and sustained re-programming and unlearning to acquire. We are so accustomed to believing that our feelings about the world come from outside, whereas in Jamie Smart's teaching NONE of our feelings come from outside of us.

Unlearning, or 'subtractive' learning is at the heart of the CLARITY principles that Jamie Smart teaches, which is one of the most refreshing aspects of his work: it's more about taking away the stuff that's obscuring the reality of our situations and our relationship with the world to expose the clarity and connection that are our natural condition.

The CLARITY principles do appear to be a game-changing paradigm that could transform not only the way we deal with stress and mental health, but ultimately how we relate to the world around us including our interior life.


You can find Jamie Smart's book on Amazon HERE:

Taking small risks can lead to big transformations

Having an ordered life is great and highly recommended. The feeling of things being in the right place is certainly conducive to focus and well-being. But as you may be aware, there is a catch here; too much order can become limiting because our minds are simply not aware of all the possibilities around us.Control-mania can lead us to having an over-orderly life, a sort of spiritual constipation that can sap the life out of....well, your life.

The remedy for this is to throw in the occasional random element to break open new potential. This may involve taking a risk of some kind and allowing your life to become disrupted temporarily.
Here are possible ways to do this. Simply choose which ones appeal and give them a go when things start to feel stale.

- drink one or two more glasses of wine or beer than you usually would.
- call someone you haven't contacted for a while.
-do something totally different next weekend.
- take a social risk such as asking someone to go out with you who you might have considered out of reach.
- give up your job without knowing what you're going to do next.
- move to another city or country.
- take a different route to work
- go to a different cafe or pub
- go to an event or networking even if you can't think of a good logical reason for doing so.


You might want to make your own list and pin it somewhere. The point here is that throwing in a random element you are inviting the universe to bring something new into your life and opening the door to providence. It's so easy to get stuck in routines and being 'busy' to the extent that we are no longer receptive to possibility. Our minds are far too narrow to see what's possible for us, but random elements and actions can give the universe a chance to nudge us, jolt us or gently guide us in a new direction.

Why you should consider using a life coach.

I know, life coaching has a bit of an image problem. When I try to explain it to some people they say things like '.....but what do you DO?' They may think it all sounds a bit 'airy fairy' or 'New Age' or even (gasp) Ame-ri-can! After all, us Brits are so hard-nosed and down-to-earth right? Meat and potatoes, none of that fancy stuff for us. The stoicism that got us great! And I have to say; all that is true. There is a stoicism in the UK and it has served us well in past times. So, is that it? Should we all just grit our teeth and knuckle down with that Bulldog Spirit? Just get the job done eh Monty? Perhaps, and as a coach I would agree that there are times when this approach is extremely effective because we don't want to all be whimpering wrecks running for help at the first sign of trouble.

But the reality; the reality is that we are complex beings full of feelings and we live in a world that can also be overwhelmingly hard to navigate. True, you might not hire a life coach if you're living on the breadline or struggling to feed your kids, but you might. It's no accident that life coaching has emerged at this time in human history, in western culture. People are looking for more than just life-in-survival-mode. Not surprisingly they are interested in more abstract and elusive goals such as fulfillment, happiness and achievement.

For the last few thousand years, and particularly in the last few hundred, we have lived with the urgent need to provide, for families and for ourselves. Principally this has come to be expected through an exchange of work for money. This was an exchange that worked quite well for a long time. Employees were grateful to have the security to bring up families and feel certain about the future. But things are changing. Actually they have already changed. In reality people are no longer satisfied with the deal of the industrial age under which the majority still labour. Organisations may thrive, individuals get worn out. They know they are missing out on something, and they're right.
The media works (inadvertently) in the service of companies, corporations and governments by instilling fear through relentlessly sensationalised reporting which engenders a non-stop sense of crisis so that employees are sent scurrying back to the grindstone with their heads down.

But now so many people are beginning to ask awkward questions, such as: Am I happy? Can I be happy and what will it take?
Artificial Intelligence and other technological phenomena will no doubt transform our society beyond recognition in the next decade, probably in ways that we don't even know yet. But one thing is for certain: people will have more options and more leisure time than ever before and life coaches, counsellors and psychologists will be required to help them adapt and manage the onslaught of change.

We need a way to navigate through all of this. You are not a machine. You ARE a complex, feeling individual and somewhere, somehow there is fulfillment waiting for you. You do not have to passively accept things the way they are. But as long as you are scurrying, as long as you buy into the scary looking version of the world and put your aspirations on hold, you are unlikely to be able to clear a space to really get to know who you are and why you are here, let alone do something about it.

Life coaching is a service that is perfectly suited to the existential dilemmas that are already looming for post-industrial societies.It is probably THE best and most effective way to get focused and set a course that YOU have chosen rather than feeling it has been thrust upon you.  So what is it that you want to do? What will it take to get you to the place of feeling ownership of your daily activities, tuning into your purpose with a clear understanding of what's important?

Life coaching CAN be about exploring feelings, about discovering who you are and what you want. It CAN be about setting definite goals for higher achievement, success and recognition. Life coaches are interested, for the most part in supporting you in getting where you want to go, as long as it aligns with your values. Life coaching is as multi-faceted and many-layered as individuals and what happens in life coaching will depend uniquely on the person that you are.

Showing Up

Shakespeare's observation that 'all the world's a stage' is a cliche that has never been more true, and more confusing than nowadays where we have the ability to create and animate a multiplicity of identities via electronic media, as well as social circles in which we move. Through such channels we can show up in a variety of ways, and furthermore we can objectify our own identity in ever increasing aspects, having it reflected back to us whenever we access our various accounts.
Generally speaking, we want to create a positive image through such identities, one that encourages people to 'follow' us or gets us the kind of attention that could potentially turn into profit or at least, a favourable social profile.
     But what about when we actually show up in person? Because when this happens, there's no getting away from the reality of who we are in the world. Of course we can fool some of the people some of the time, and so on, but not for too long, especially when those people are more experienced, more knowledgeable and more perceptive than we are. By definition of course, if you want to develop your career, you'll need to impress exactly these sort of people, and these sort of people will most certainly notice how you show up, when you show up.

 Of course, how you show up depends on who you are showing up for, what the circumstances are and so on. How you show up on your first day of work at a company will almost certainly be quite different from your 1000th day at the same company. How you show up when you meet your friends for a few drinks will obviously be different from how you show up at a job interview. But not too different. There will be some considerable overlap otherwise we're looking at authenticity issues here!

An actor tries to convince an audience that they are actually the person in the role they are playing and through the magic of our brains being able to 'suspend disbelief' we are able to buy into that illusion, provided the acting itself is sufficiently convincing and not unnatural or inconsistent.The same can be said in real life, except in real life we have to actually become the part we are playing, in varying degrees for varying lengths of time.

So the question is: how DO you show up? Yes YOU! Or, to put it another way:
Do you show up as a possibility?

Are you showing up as someone that gets things done, that facilitates, that contributes, strengthens, focuses and engages? Or do you show up as someone that creates a burden, gets in the way, creates discord, distracts, slows things down, is needy, calculating or egocentric?

Of course we all think we know how we are being, but unfortunately it is not so simple, not by a long shot. When it comes to engagement and communication, there are tremendous blind spots that may be glaringly obvious to others. One way to get feedback of course is to look at the results you are getting. Do people respond to you positively?Or do you consistently get reactions that you didn't expect, or which seem 'unfair' to you? If the latter is the case, it may be that the way you are showing up and the way you see yourself are not in alignment. Our biggest problem is the ego. We may convince ourselves that we are just right for the part, but unlike actors on the stage, few of us have a director or producer to guide and coach us as we play each scene (experienced actors may not need, or think they need such guidance).

Another way to know more about how you show up is to ask for feedback, or get training, coaching or mentoring. If we can deal with the sometimes painful truth that constitutes the deficit between how we see ourselves and how the world sees us, then we are well on our way to getting places we want to go.

For a free training video on 'Showing Up' visit my You Tube channel at the following link
Showing Up

The Prosperity Mindset

    An American author and speaker by the name of Randy Gage is a specialist on the subject of prosperity and the prosperity mindset. His compelling claim is that prosperity is a state of mind that goes beyond how you see issues relating to wealth and money. In his definition, prosperity is a lifestyle and concerns your health and diet, exercise, friends and associates, beliefs, activities, habits etc etc.

   We all want to prosper, but according to Randy Gage, most of us have thought patterns, or 'mind-viruses' that prevent or obstruct us from doing so. These can manifest in many different ways. For example, there's the 'victim mentality' where we see ourselves as forlorn but heroic individuals struggling against the big corporation, our employer, the politicians etc. Another damaging idea that many people hold is 'the entitlement mentality' where we affirm our right to a free education, healthcare, public services etc without necessarily giving back very much to society. Another idea that is perhaps more controversial is the question of who gets to benefit from our ability to add value and solve problems in society. Randy Gage's libertarian point of view is that we are entitled to receive in proportion to the value we create in society, an idea which is antithetical, for example to socialism where the spoils of enterprise and innovation are forcibly redistributed.

Have you ever felt resentment towards that big, pinstripe suited guy gliding past behind the wheel of his Rolls Royce while you stand at the curb waiting to cross the road in the rain? If the answer is 'Yes' even for a split second, then you are infected with limiting and anti-prosperity memes, or thought patterns. You might not go so far as to run your key down the side of his vehicle when you see it parked, but you are only two or three steps removed from this point of view. You might catch yourself thinking, for example something cynical that suggests the rich guy must have done something dishonest to get where he is today.Behind such thoughts lurk anti-prosperity patterns that can sabotage your ability to create prosperity in your life.

A person's ability to be wealthy, according to the prosperity mindset, depends not on their background, education, work ethic or ability to save but on their values and relationship with principles of prosperity. Thus, a person born into a rich family will not remain so if they acquire anti-prosperity patterns as they grow up. The fact that most children of wealthy people remain wealthy is due to their inheritance of a prosperity mindset and growing up in a an environment where prosperity is a fact of life. For these people, there is often no need to adjust their patterns. But for most of us, there is work to be done in analyzing truthfully and courageously our REAL relationship with prosperity, asking where our ideas came from and whether or not they support us in having a shot of living happy and complete lives.

If you're interested in finding our more about the prosperity mindset, a recommended book is Randy Gage's "Why You're Poor Sick Dumb and Broke and How to get Healthy, Wealthy and Wise."

A REAL Alternative- Part 1

Many self-help and wellness techniques and methods purport to offer an alternative way of living. Indeed, in London the biggest 'New Age' organisation that distributes such techniques and teachings calls itself Alternatives. But in what sense are the teachings that they offer real alternatives?

In my experience, what may look like an alternative at first often turns out to be not so alternative after all. A lot of self-help and wellness methods,techniques and strategies sound and look extremely convincing and seductive. But when it comes down to it, how many of them truly offer an alternative way of living and looking at what's going on in the world?

For many years, I was also looking for an alternative. I was certain that there was another way of living that did not conform to the traditional views of the world and how things happen. I searched and experimented. At one time in my 20's I even went to live with a group of travellers, hoping to discover an alternative lifestyle. What I found disappointed me. The only thing that was alternative about them was the fact that they lived in a bus instead of a house. Apart from that, they seemed much the same as everyone else.

Later I got involved with various 'New Age' type approaches, often based on ancient wisdom, and although I found the ideas and concepts quite exciting and engaging, I found that they did not offer up a lifestyle that was both practical and truly alternative. They might for example teach or suggest a technique or strategy that could be applied at times to supposedly get desired effects, but they did not offer what really felt like a truly alternative approach to living. At another stage I discovered some of the top professional coaches that teach people how to 'be the best' and perform at a high level. Again, they offered some exciting ideas but in the end they were for the most part suggesting that we simply do more, MUCH more in order to get results. For example, they might advise getting 'super fit', which is a great idea but extremely difficult to manage if you are not a full-time athlete or fanatical about exercise!

About 9 years ago I became interested in the teachings of the American self-help author Robert Scheinfeld. At the time he was offering a program called the Seven Power Centres of Life. In his pitch he mentioned that this was something very different from most 'alternative' teachings. It was also a new offering that he had put together that would later morph into what became the Busting Loose model and more recently, the Ultimate Key to Freedom.

At the time I heard his pitch I had reached a low point. It was soon after I had been divorced and I'd just got dumped by a girlfriend very unceremoniously. In short I was feeling that life was turning into a big disappointment! In the words of Morpheus in the film, The Matrix, I felt that "something was wrong with the world". I decided to give Robert Scheinfeld's course, for which he was making some dramatic claims, a try. What did I have to lose?

Robert Scheinfeld's course did turn out to be different from anything I had experienced before. It also turned into a life changing event that took me on an extraordinary journey of discovery and 'expansion'. From the outside one might be forgiven for thinking that Robert Scheinfeld is just another 'self-help guru' marketing his products in a way that is very slick and professional. Indeed at first sight, Robert's products may look similar to those of many others in the self-help field. However, what I learned from deep and profound personal experience was that the similarity ends there and that whatever you may be thinking these products are about, it does not come close to the truth of what this particular journey has looked and felt like for myself and many others.

In the next part of this blog I will go into more detail about Robert Scheinfeld's approach and teachings. In the meantime if you would like to know more you can go to the link below and access a free introduction from Robert Scheinfeld.

http://www.robertscheinfeld.com/spiritual-teaching-modern-times/

Alternatively I am offering personal coaching through my coaching website at

https://sites.google.com/site/pathwayyoucoaching/Our-coaching